


for you i bleed myself dry

by xylomylo



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 05:05:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16847683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylomylo/pseuds/xylomylo
Summary: "don't 'nayeon' me," the other girl snaps. "i leave you alone for what, six hours, and you... adopt a kid?" her gaze is unwavering. it flashes the briefest of red, and jihyo's smile disappears.





	for you i bleed myself dry

**Author's Note:**

> this is me trying to clear old drafts!! also when will i ever write something short lmao
> 
> title from coldplay's yellow because contrary to popular belief i am a real coldplay stan :>

chaeyoung's tired. there is nothing she wants more than to drop face first on her bed and sleep for twenty hours. but there are footsteps behind that have been following her for the entire block, just like any other day. it rings in her ears, and she suppresses a groan. turns the corner to find two burly men blocking her way. she sighs. she hates the ghetto. 

 

"look, i don't have anything," she drops her bag. throws her wallet down. raises her arms. knows the drill by now - a few hard hits, and they'll be on their way, because she'd just spent the last ten dollars she had on some new acrylics. 

 

one of the men laughs, cigarette hanging from his lips. probably the leader. gestures for her to be searched. chaeyoung grits her teeth. tries to keep the anger to a minimum, at the unnecessary groping. the humiliation isn't easy to swallow. never has been. but then one of his men dumps the contents of her bag onto the floor and - 

 

"bullshit!" he spits. she flinches at the cigarette that lands on her face. it burns. the men searching her wallet shake their heads, and the leader roars in anger. kicks her feet out from under her, and she's met with a face full of gravel. "how do you not have anything valuable on you?" 

 

chaeyoung scoffs. it earns her a slap that knocks the breath out of her. her vision is blurry. her ears ring. she makes out something sharp in the man's hand - sharp enough to gleam in the midnight. the men start cheering, loud and barbaric, and the leader squats down to look at her. the cold blade of the knife presses against her cheek. the fear doesn't come.

 

she doesn't hear his next words. there is only pain. white hot, blinding pain, in her abdomen. her scream dies somewhere in her throat together with her will to live because honestly, she's not surprised. she'd never believed in god. miracles, or whatever. life isn't rainbows and butterflies. especially for orphans like herself. but dying in a puddle of her own blood was something she'd never thought would actually happen - life works in funny ways. then her gaze shifts to the acrylics on the ground beside her and fuck, what about her art? chaeyoung's not sure she's ready to give it up.

 

"help." it's a half-assed attempt. the word is whispered so softly she's sure no one heard her. other than the man, who tuts. taps her pretty face once, before he grips the hilt of the knife and twists it, extinguishing all the fight left in her.

 

chaeyoung doesn't even have the energy to react properly. there is more pain, but she's so numb there might be a chance she's wrong. this is it, maybe. death creeping up on her. coming to collect her pathetic excuse of a body. she's tired. tired of trying her damn hardest to live. tired of trying to make ends meet. working odd jobs to put herself through school - poverty is an endless hellhole, especially when you don't have anyone to live for. she'd tried, you know. tried to live for the art - but it seems like her time is up. tick tock. the blood flow slows. it's ending. 

 

she stares right back at the man, who's still smiling. vows to get revenge, in her next life. or whatever. tries to remember every detail of his face through the blood loss - the beard, the scar on his left cheek -

 

he stands. the men start shouting again. there's someone, chaeyoung thinks. there's a brawl. what kind of crazy person would step in to help? it's every man for themselves, here in the ghetto. this person must have a death wish, or something. at least she'll have company in the afterlife. 

 

there are spots in her vision. her eyelids grow heavy, but she fights to keep her eyes open. it's a girl, maybe. long hair. she's looking down at chaeyoung while standing, and wow. the moonlight gives her a halo. makes her look like an angel. the angel of death? at least she had a pretty girl sending her off. it's a win-win.

 

the girl's huge eyes flashing red are the last thing she remembers before everything goes black. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

son chaeyoung. it was the name from the identity card she'd found in the wallet. son chaeyoung, age twenty, second-year student at seoul university. art major. son chaeyoung, who currently lies asleep on her hotel bed on blood-soaked sheets, and whose life she has changed forever. dear god, what has she done?

 

"what the _fuck_ , jihyo."

 

nayeon stands at the foot of the bed, staring at the mess that is their room. honest to god, it looked like a murder scene - blood everywhere, blood on jihyo's clothes, hands - the clean-up crew was going to have a hard time. the older girl's appearance shocks her back to reality, and she's reminded of the additional responsibility. blinks away the panic, and puts on her best smile. "nayeon - "

 

"don't 'nayeon' me," the other girl snaps. "i leave you alone for what, six hours, and you... adopt a kid?" her gaze is unwavering. it flashes the briefest of red, and jihyo's smile disappears. 

 

"she was dying, nayeon. what was i supposed to do, walk away?"  

 

"you know we're not supposed to meddle in human lives!" nayeon throws her hands up in defeat. "who do you think you are, mother theresa?" then starts to pace. it drives jihyo insane.

 

"i don't know what I was thinking, okay?" she feels the panic build. "i just felt that I needed to save her, you know?" jihyo's voice quietens down to a whisper, and she slumps against the wall, legs suddenly giving out despite their supposed superhuman strength. "i heard her calling for help." 

 

the older girl sighs. stops pacing. visibly deflates, because jihyo thinks the panic is written all over her own face. together with the regret, and it isn't worth it.

 

"okay," nayeon breathes. moves to wrap her arms around her girlfriend, and jihyo sighs. nayeon's embrace is soft. always soft. she smells of pesky human sweat, and jihyo tries not to recoil in disgust. she smells it on herself, too. it must be the damn conference. 

 

"how was the conference?" jihyo mumbles into nayeon's neck. 

 

the mandatory conference. the dreaded yearly affair (just jihyo - nayeon revels in watching the humans squirm). a part of the peace treaty humans and vampires have agreed on, after agreeing to co-exist in peace because warring would serve no purpose. at least she didn't have to be _that_ wary of hunters on the prowl. 

 

("mandatory?" jihyo snatches the golden invite away. "they might as well put a gun against my head."

 

"don't be so dramatic, babe," nayeon pouts. besides, we'll get to see the others, right?" then presses her blood-stained lips into the other girl's neck, and jihyo shrieks.)

 

"god, you should have seen the look on the minister's face when he shook jeongyeon's hand," nayeon laughs. plays with the ends of jihyo's hair. "sana almost died laughing." she goes on and on about the conference. the ripple of her voice is all jihyo focuses on because it drowns out all her worries, self-doubt, and regret - together with the comforting strokes on her head. and just for awhile, she lets herself forget. about everything. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

seven hours and a panic phone call later, the girl wakes. son chaeyoung gasps, shooting up from the bed, to which jihyo and nayeon's well-trained reflexes kicked in - in the form of defensive stances, paintbrushes long forgotten.

 

("paintbrush?" nayeon'd offered, when jihyo stepped out of the shower. "she's not going to wake up for awhile, and i'm bored."

 

jihyo rolls her eyes, but takes it anyway.)

 

they approach the girl. that is, before jihyo finds herself pinned to the wall, a newborn vampire with her eyes glowing red, snarling in her face.

 

"chaeyoung. hey!" she makes sure to look directly into the younger girl's eyes. taps into her compulsion. reaches out to chaeyoung's mind to try to get the newborn to stand down. nayeon is cautious; watching, waiting, ready to step in if it doesn't work out. according to sana, newborns tend to be a little erratic upon waking - jihyo isn't sure if being pinned to the wall counts as 'erratic'. 

 

it works. the red hue in her eyes disappear, and chaeyoung blinks. releases jihyo. then steps back. "you," she says, finger pointing at jihyo. looks to nayeon in confusion. "i was stabbed." her fingers lift the crusty hem of her blood-soaked shirt. narrows her eyes at the pink skin there, good as new. "how?"

 

"jihyo's how," nayeon says, matter-of-factly. "she saved you."

 

the newborn stares at jihyo, who smiles awkwardly in return. there's a deafening silence, especially so with their super hearing, and then it's as though they're staring each other down, and jihyo doesn't know what to do -

 

"you're a vampire now," nayeon deadpans. short and sweet. reality, handed to her on a silver platter. chaeyoung looks to her as jihyo splutters, because _you can't just tell someone they're a vampire, nayeon. they're going to freak out!!_

 

jihyo waits with bated breath for the newborn's reaction - denial, anger -

 

"oh." is all she gets. "cool. how does it work?" 

 

the two older vampires stare at chaeyoung, until nayeon bursts into laughter. chaeyoung, for the love of god, takes everything in calmly. it takes jihyo by surprise; because she'd infringed on chaeyoung's human rights to well, stay _human_ , and die human.

 

"i like her already," nayeon chirps. "should i take a photo to commemorate this?" then finds herself being shoved so hard into the armchair that one of its legs creak.

 

"you're not... angry?" jihyo asks, hesitant. turns to chaeyoung. nayeon watches in amusement as chaeyoung smiles, dimple showing. she's such a kid. so much youth. maybe raising a newborn wouldn't be that difficult after all. 

 

"angry? you saved my life, jihyo," the newborn jumps forward. jihyo is on her guard, but chaeyoung only crushes her in a hug. it's adorable. there is gratitude and there is something warm in her veins. probably just the sire bond.

 

probably.

 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

it's the second day, and jihyo's left for work. 

 

("why do you even work?" nayeon grumbles, iron-grip on jihyo, refusing to let the other girl get out of bed. "sell the company. you have enough money to last like, forever."

 

"i go in only on mondays, you know that," jihyo kisses her nose, and the other girl relents, mumbling into her pillow.)

 

nayeon's left all alone with baby-sitting duties. they bring chaeyoung back home, since she doesn't really have a place to go back to, being an orphan and all. she's lounging on the couch, flipping through the latest issue of cleo while chaeyoung paints. two days with chaeyoung and she learns that the younger girl is an art hoe. that explains the art supplies. they tell her she's free to go back to school after a week or two spent in 'confinement', after she's gotten used to her new life. 

 

her eyelids are drooping and she's just about to be lulled to sleep by the steady strokes of the paintbrush, until -

 

crack. 

 

the paintbrush snaps in half, and chaeyoung lets out a feral growl. 

 

"chaeng?" nayeon is wide awake, all traces of drowsiness gone. the magazine is forgotten. chaeyoung turns to her, eyes blazing red -

 

"nayeon, i - " her fangs elongate, cutting into her bottom lip. nayeon frowns. watches the drop of blood that pools at the cut, and is hit by the scent of chaeyoung's blood. she reaches for her phone, ready to call sana to ask for help -

 

oh. her eyes widen in recognition - it's been two days, and chaeyoung hasn't fed. how could she _forget?_ she wants to strangle jihyo. "okay," she pushes herself off the couch. crouches in front of the newborn. "what you're feeling now is thirst. i'm gonna go get you a bottle, and you're gonna stay here, okay? don't move."

 

nayeon doesn't wait for a reply. zips to the kitchen, only to find the cooler empty. of course it has to be empty, when she's about to let a newborn have her first taste of blood. she takes a deep breath. pulls back the anger that would have made her punch a hole in the damn cooler. she vaguely remembers jihyo reminding her to stock up last week. looks at the offending neon orange post-it on the wall that reads _STOCK UP!!!_ in jihyo's precise, bold lettering, and feels like kicking herself. 

 

she whips out her phone, about to make a blood-dial - but freezes when she feels arms around her waist, sliding under her sweatshirt. chaeyoung growls, nosing into her neck. nayeon tries not to shudder.

 

"nayeon," she whines. "i - i need - " 

 

nayeon swallows. she barely remembers her first feeding almost a century ago, but knows how important it was to feed from a live source - it made her feel so alive, and she wasn't going to deny chaeyoung that experience. a blood-dial would take at least fifteen minutes, and newborns weren't exactly the most patient of sorts. but given the way chaeyoung's mumbling into her neck, fangs grazing her skin - she wouldn't be able to last five minutes. so nayeon steels her nerves, and makes a decision she hopes she won't regret.

 

"chaeyoung." she whirls around to face the younger girl, holding her face to get her attention. "you're going to drink from me, okay? here." nayeon lifts her wrist to chaeyoung's lips. watches as the newborn's eyes flash red - transfixed on her vein. her lower lip is long healed, but she's positively salivating. 

 

"there, you see the vein pattern? it's different for everyone," she carries on. nayeon has absolutely no idea what she's doing, has no idea how to even _teach_ a newborn how to feed - what's more, from one of her own kind - it's taboo on so many levels. an unspoken rule of sorts. the act of drinking from another vampire was usually associated with high levels of intimacy and usually only done with sexual partners - she'd tried it with jihyo when they were both a little too curious, but jihyo wasn't really a fan of it, and they'd went back to feeding on humans. 

 

but chaeyoung doesn't know, and nayeon's obviously not intending to tell the newborn. survival is priority, and nayeon clenches her fist as she watches chaeyoung bite down on her wrist.

 

the pain is shocking. for a vampire, she's always the one who does the biting. the endorphins take effect almost instantly - the toe-curling pleasure hits her hard in the gut. nayeon swallows the moan that lingers in her throat, fighting the light-headedness that comes with the warmth settling on her abdomen: because this is no time to be enjoying a vampire bite. this is for chaeyoung, and chaeyoung alone. 

 

feeding from a vampire has its perks. their bodies are able to produce blood at a faster rate than a normal human, and therefore can withstand a larger amount of blood loss. but a vampire body also has its limits, too, and nayeon grits her teeth and decides it's enough when she feels her legs wobble slightly.

 

"chaeyoung, stop."

 

the newborn pointedly ignores her, fangs digging deeper into her veins, and nayeon winces. a part of her hated to admit she'd totally overlooked this scenario - that chaeyoung might drink her dry. she hisses. tangles her fingers in chaeyoung's hair and forcefully yanks the newborn's head away from her wrist.

 

"are you okay?" nayeon watches the newborn carefully, worried that she'd hurt her. but then chaeyoung looks up at her with her eyes so black and dangerous she knows something's not right. her guard is still up as she moves to wipe the blood (her blood) dribbling down chaeyoung's chin, but her hand gets slapped away and she finds herself on the ground with the newborn straddling her. chaeyoung's tense, nails digging painfully into nayeon's shoulders and nayeon has no idea what's happening. when sana said that newborns vary in their reactions to first feedings, being pinned to the ground was definitely not what she'd expected. definitely not. 

 

"nayeon," chaeyoung croaks, and suddenly she's nuzzling into nayeon's neck again, whimpering. nayeon's mind races, the confusion and panic warping her thoughts so badly she forces herself to keep calm. to be level-headed. to find out what the newborn needs. she settles on holding chaeyoung's hand, offering comfort as best as she could, waiting for the newborn to figure out exactly what she wants - 

 

and then she feels chaeyoung's hips rutting on her thigh - 

 

oh. okay. this is awkward. chaeyoung's twenty, but what the fuck? she's not about to make things weird between them. jihyo would most definitely kill her. but chaeyoung's hips get more persistent and she's scratching down nayeon's back - 

 

"please," chaeyoung almost sobs, and nayeon feels her chest growing heavy. wrestles with her conscience with the way chaeyoung looks at her - helpless, desperate and pleading, and nayeon decides that jihyo can go fuck herself.

 

she tightens her hold on the newborn. flips them around. spots the thickest vein along the pale column of chaeyoung's neck, and stares at it. presses down on it experimentally, and feels chaeyoung shiver in her arms. so, so delicious. nayeon taps into the want she'd felt earlier. gives in to her true nature, and feels her own fangs elongate. but when she licks the spot next to the small freckle on the newborn's neck, chaeyoung moans shakily - nayeon takes it as her cue to go, and bites down hard. 

 

chaeyoung is sweet, like honey. tangy. but then there are memories flashing across her mind that she doesn't remember. an orphanage. a sketchbook. there is a silence so unsettling that rings in her ears, and nayeon realises she'd totally forgot about the memory sharing thing. then is reminded that she's still drinking from chaeyoung when the newborn arches into her with a broken sob. she hurriedly licks the newborn's wounds close - chaeyoung is already passed out in her arms, the spike of arousal too much for her to bear and nayeon feels something warm and sticky on her thighs.

 

well. this is going to be awkward. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

"you _what?_ " jihyo shrieks. then schools her face into something neutral, and nayeon wants to die. like, as a human. this is probably the most dramatic her life has been, clan fights aside. it's an era of peace and harmony, and what could be more exciting than having to almost fuck your girlfriend's newborn? it's embarrassing. 

 

she sighs. jihyo had returned from work only to find them on the kitchen floor. in a mess of blood and, well, you know. smelled sex in the air, like that one rihanna song. and had her fingers on nayeon's throat in a fraction of a millisecond. that's something she would normally welcome, but when jihyo looks at her with hell in her eyes, a part of nayeon cowers. just a little. her feet don’t touch the floor.

 

"what was i supposed to do? let her go around drinking from random humans?" nayeon grits out. holds her ground. it was an emergency. and okay, maybe she wasn't the best at crisis management, but it worked out in the end, didn't it?

 

jihyo releases her grip, and nayeon coughs. lands on the ground easily. the fire in her eyes has dulled to embers, but there's definitely something jihyo's not telling her - 

 

"i just met sana," she sighs. holds up a book titled 'the ultimate guide to newborns', and nayeon wants to roll her eyes. a parenting book. ha. then reminds herself that out of all of them, sana has the worst sense of humour. but it is help they definitely need, and nayeon will not complain. looks to the other girl for an explanation, but jihyo only flips the book open to a dog-eared page and shoves it in her face. 

 

she scans the words quickly. feels her jaw drop, because she may or may not have caused chaeyoung to be... different. special. extremely dangerous, as per ancient scriptures. the first feeding of a newborn determines its strength and 'diet', of sorts. if you drink from a human, only human blood will be of sustenance - animal blood will not. and so, to put simply - chaeyoung can only survive on vampire blood. from now on. which nayeon is sure will break a whole list of clan protocols.

 

it's like tzuyu all over again.

 

"stake me. now." she slumps onto the ground. "what are we going to do?" 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

chaeyoung wakes up feeling very, very sated. it's strange. the contentment she feels is off the charts and she doesn't know if she should be alarmed, because it's different from the false sense of security she'd used to psych herself into. to stop worrying about things like money. 

 

there is a blanket around her. she sits up. her neck aches, and she stretches. goes off to find nayeon, because last she remembered they were at home and she was painting and -

 

oh god. the memories flash across her eyes. chaeyoung moves to the mirror. prods at the puncture wounds that were supposed to be there. that she knew were there just... hours ago. remembers the phantom pain. remembers the taste of nayeon's blood. how thick it was. how it hums in her veins. how it fuels her strength. remembers herself practically begging to be fucked, and flushes red. what the _hell_ was that? 

 

"chaeyoung." nayeon is beside her in an instant, and chaeyoung jumps. getting sneaked up on despite having amplified senses? even more embarrassing. but then the memory of her drinking from nayeon's wrist is still looping in her mind and - 

 

"i have to tell you something." the older girl says. her tone is all sorts of serious, and chaeyoung isn't sure if she should be worried. because nayeon has been nothing but kind and caring and funny, helping her through the transition. she nods, and nayeon starts explaining. beating around the bush. twiddles her thumbs. dumbs it down for chaeyoung to understand that hey, she's special. has to essentially live off on vampire blood. which, makes her a wanted vampire, by the clan.  

 

nayeon apologises. chaeyoung doesn't understand why. because it's not the older girl's fault.  because she knows that she's the first vampire jihyo has ever sired. and is so thankful for a second shot at life, albeit differently. then is at a complete loss when nayeon's eyes start welling up. 

 

"it's not your fault," she tries. grabs nayeon's hand with both of her own. "you helped me. i'm indebted to you either way - "

 

"i didn't," nayeon's voice trembles. "jihyo did." then smiles wistfully, and chaeyoung thinks she sees a different side of nayeon today. looks at the cracks in her silver irises, and shakes her own head. focuses on her emotions. pushes out wave after wave of gratitude, and moves closer such that their foreheads touch. she's not sure what's happening, but all she knows is that she doesn't want to see nayeon cry. 

 

she thinks she reaches into nayeon's mind. feels the blue suppressing the usual golden aura of the older girl. sees the impending swirl of black trying to swallow everything, and prods at it. then she's engulfed in a bubble of old memories. it's in black and white. a lot of dead bodies. the war, she supposes. how nayeon fought tooth and nail to survive. how they'd managed to make peace with the humans, and at the ultimate cost - the death of this girl. tall, and tan. beautiful. her body is broken, and her eyes are empty - chaeyoung sees nayeon craddling the girl and sobbing. hears the scream of anguish, and her heart hurts. cries out in pain. but when she moves closer, there is a shiver down her spine because the girl looks exactly like this other girl in her class. the girl who always sits by the window. tzuyu, or something.

 

chaeyoung closes her eyes. pushes her own memories through - her on the swings. her eating ice cream, with the last ten dollar bill in her pocket. her watching the sunset from the campus rooftop. wants nayeon to know that it's okay. they'll hide, if that's what it takes. that it’s not her fault, because she didn't know. that it's okay, because chaeyoung is seven degrees of inexplicable happiness when she's around nayeon and jihyo. despite only knowing them for a short period of time.

 

the black swirl dissipates. the tiniest speck of gold appears, and chaeyoung smiles. opens her eyes to see nayeon smiling back in return. then feels another pair of arms around her waist, and jihyo is suddenly here too. takes both their hands and gives the softest of kisses to their knuckles, and feels the warmth sealing away the despair. sees the auras of nayeon and jihyo turn cotton candy pink as they hug, and chaeyoung suddenly becomes aware of something pricking at her gut. 

 

she ignores it in favour of being pulled into an embrace. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

time passes. jihyo makes a feeding schedule, alternating between nayeon and herself. but as predicted, nayeon pays it no mind - the first time chaeyoung tried to drink from jihyo she'd all but yanked chaeyoung away and demanded she drink from herself instead. to which jihyo only rolled her eyes and a starving chaeyoung complied happily. but it soon got out of hand because as stubborn as she is, nayeon refused to ask jihyo for help and had ended up passing out after. 

 

(the first time chaeyoung had drank from jihyo, they broke the coffee table because jihyo couldn't control herself - jihyo had sworn chaeyoung to secrecy and had the table replaced immediately, but nayeon found out anyway, and made fun of her for an entire day until jihyo threw her across the living room. thank god for their solid walls.)

 

chaeyoung adapts to her new body like a second skin. learns to control her thirst, strength and fangs with ease, and jihyo is proud. they were going to let chaeyoung go back to school today, with jihyo as a chaperone to make sure nothing happens. but chaeyoung _hates_  being shadowed - it reminds her of her days in the ghetto, and she only keeps her mouth shut because jihyo is bursting with excitement, and nayeon looks like she's about to burst into tears. again. how dramatic.

 

"i packed you a bottle just in case," nayeon hands her a thermos flask. kisses chaeyoung on the cheek and whines as chaeyoung struggles to avoid it. but eventually lets nayeon land just one kiss on the tip of her nose, before dragging jihyo out of the house. a pity nayeon had to go for some clan meeting, and couldn't tag along. thank all the gods. 

 

school is familiar. jihyo follows chaeyoung everywhere, lecture after lecture. they attract attention, of course - chaeyoung thinks it's all jihyo's fault for looking like she'd just stepped off a runway. because she's always dressed like an international student who has way too much money to spend (this part is true), and chaeyoung knows she pales in comparison in her washed out hoodie. but when jihyo tangles their fingers together just the slightest while they walk through the hallways, she thinks of warm milk and butter cookies.

 

it's nice.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

they're waiting for the lecture to start, and chaeyoung is early only because jihyo had dragged her out of bed twenty minutes earlier. she struggles to keep awake - they'd stayed up binge watching the entire first season of the good place, and it's so fucking funny -

 

"is this seat taken?" the voice is melodic and the pronunciation is a little awkward, but chaeyoung looks up anyway. it's tzuyu, from her contemporary art class. also the only other person she'd ever talked to in her classes sans forced group work. chaeyoung smiles and shakes her head, because tzuyu is kind and tzuyu is pretty and chaeyoung completely misses the way jihyo's jaw drops in shock. until she turns to introduce them. 

 

"this is jihyo," she points to the other girl. "my uh, friend." then frowns a little because jihyo is just outright _staring_ at tzuyu, which is really really uncharacteristic of the older girl. so she reaches out to pinch jihyo's side because tzuyu is still waiting, and jihyo finally gets it together to shake tzuyu's hand. but tzuyu is graceful and nice and accepting, and patiently answers jihyo's weird onslaught of questions about her age and birth. what the hell. 

 

the lecture starts, and it becomes quiet. chaeyoung tries to listen, to learn about the different renaissance painting techniques - but gives up after awhile. because jihyo is strangely moody and excessively fidgety and it's terribly distracting. she tries to hold jihyo's hand like she always does, but jihyo pulls away and chaeyoung is met with hurt she'd never thought she would feel. it doesn't get processed well. somehow it turns into unsolicited anger, and she feels her fangs protruding out of their own accord. 

 

fuck. she's definitely _not_ going to expose herself in a sea of humans. she closes her eyes. deep breaths. remembers the steps to calm herself down. grips the edge of her seat as she concentrates on her breathing. focuses on the words on her notes. something to get her mind off the anger. calm. calm. calm. 

 

it works. the anger is pocketed into one of the many compartments in the back of her mind. the rest of the lecture passes in a blur, and once it ends tzuyu waves goodbye and rushes off to her next lecture. chaeyoung grabs jihyo's hand with more force than usual and hoists her up, walking towards the car park with her mind in a mess -

 

"what was that about?" the words are out of her mouth before chaeyoung even realises, because it's all she could think about in the last two hours. because jihyo is usually calm and friendly to strangers, and her face when she'd first saw tzuyu was just pure... shock? guilt? disbelief?

 

jihyo sighs. "tzuyu looks like someone i used to know." unlocks the car. "she had the same name too. it's just... weird, seeing a familiar face. but it's not them, you know?" she looks at chaeyoung and there it is - the remorse and the sorrow. but it disappears the moment the other girl blinks, and jihyo smiles. tries to be reassuring. starts the car, and starts talking about something else entirely - but her smile never reaches her eyes.

 

the thing at her gut presses down a little harder. it's kind of painful. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

the night is quiet. way too quiet. maybe that's why jihyo's mind is on a trip down memory lane, and maybe nayeon deserves to know -

 

"i think tzuyu's been reincarnated." she says, after chaeyoung has long fallen asleep. they had woken up one day to find the newborn tangled up in them and didn't have the heart to kick her out - because the bed was big enough anyway, and it was also easier for chaeyoung to feed. just in case, you know.

 

nayeon sits up immediately, eyebrows disappearing into her fringe. " _what?_ " she hisses, but lies back down when jihyo gives her a look because chaeyoung fidgets in her sleep. they hold their breaths until chaeyoung stills, and jihyo sighs. 

 

"she's human, now. chaeyoung's classmate." she reaches over to grab nayeon's hand. the one resting on chaeyoung's waist. strokes her fingers softly. rubs her knuckles. "i don't think she remembers anything." 

 

the night is quiet. way too quiet. but this time jihyo thinks she hears nayeon's heart mending. the pain embedded so deeply in her finally melts, each and every tear expelling the pent-up regret and sadness harboured over the years. closure. because nayeon had never been able to forgive herself for it, and jihyo hates how it still eats at the other girl. being immortal only makes it worse - carrying the guilt on her shoulders for eternity is definitely the worst kind of self-loathing. 

 

the other girl exhales shakily. "karma is a real bitch, huh." she laughs. it's watery. cracks towards the end, and is mostly empty. but jihyo understands. in a flash she's moved to nayeon's side of the bed, pulling her into a hug. kisses the top of her head repeatedly. body heat doesn't matter, but it's the physical presence that does - she knows it will remind nayeon that she'll never be alone. that whatever it is, they will always have each other. 

 

so she kisses nayeon, and holds her while the other girl falls apart - for what was possibly going to be the last time in a long while.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

nayeon follows her to school today. chaeyoung pretends she doesn't notice the bags under the older girl's eyes, and links their arms together. 

 

it wasn't like she didn't know what was going on. she wasn't stupid, and after being turned it's like a whole new world - reading people. telltale signs of nervousness are so easy to spot, now. like how nayeon won't stop gnawing at her bottom lip. how she rambles on and on about things that don't matter, just to keep her mind off _something_. 

 

she'd put the pieces together sometime between last night and this morning. nayeon's memories, jihyo's reaction to tzuyu, and their hushed conversations when they think she isn’t listening - the tzuyu in nayeon's memories was clearly someone important to both of them, and chaeyoung doesn't know if the ugly feeling lodged somewhere inside her chest can be considered as jealousy. maybe she was a past lover, or something. maybe. 

 

the lecture begins. tzuyu is late. nayeon's foot is tapping an erratic beat that tests chaeyoung's patience, and she's _this_ close to snapping when she registers a familiar presence - 

 

the tapping stops. chaeyoung raises an eyebrow, because tzuyu chooses the empty seat next to nayeon instead of hers. it's like watching an indie film in slow motion. nayeon snaps to attention, eyes shining with a thousand emotions chaeyoung's not sure how to place. but here is the weird part of it all: tzuyu is looking at nayeon the same way nayeon is looking at her. 

 

"hi?" tzuyu tries. chaeyoung thinks it sounds natural, in contrast to her usually stumbling over words. then is shocked into silence when tears start welling up in tzuyu's eyes. nayeon's hand flies to her mouth. blinks away the tears in her own eyes, and maybe chaeyoung should really start filming this scene. two strangers, crying at first sight. how many youtube views could she get in a night?

 

she prods at nayeon's aura. then is sucked into the blue fog that has a golden tinge right in the middle - and does a double take. the realisation hits her in the face. it's a new beginning. a second chance, for nayeon to not make the same mistake. another shot, with no regrets. 

 

"i'm sorry," tzuyu ends up saying. wipes away a stray tear or two. "i don't know what's happening," she sniffs. shakes her head. "i don't even know your name, but i feel like i know you." 

 

nayeon smiles. it's the most genuine one chaeyoung's seen today. the one that curls around her front teeth. the tears in her eyes glitter. it's beautiful like always, and makes her look a thousand years younger. chaeyoung watches the blue give way to gold, and feels her own shoulders lose some of their tension. 

 

"i'm nayeon," she says. extends her hand. "it's nice to meet you."

 

tzuyu takes her hand. chaeyoung still regrets not filming the whole exchange. 

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

partying has never been chaeyoung's forte, even as a human. loud, shitty music, cheap beers and sweaty bodies? nope. but nayeon had looked at her with those puppy eyes and really, what was she going to do? say no?

 

they end up at a vampire bar. chaeyoung spots the difference five seconds in - no one is hiding. most have their fangs sticking out, like stretching a muscle. but apparently they spike the drinks with blood - it lingers in the air and makes her own mouth water a little, but she keeps it under control. because as much as she'd wanted to drink, she'd only ever drank from nayeon or jihyo, and she wasn't sure if it would be the same. plus, it was supposed to be a secret, and she couldn't risk it.

 

"sana!" nayeon hollers. drops chaeyoung's hand to catch the red-haired girl barrelling into her embrace, and squeals. they jump around.

 

"this is chaeyoung," nayeon does the standard introductions. it's only now that chaeyoung registers the figure behind sana - an equally pretty girl with really prominent cheekbones. momo, she thinks. the music is still slightly deafening. momo is quiet, just like herself, awkwardly waving - and chaeyoung is mostly curious. because she doesn't miss the way momo sneaks a glance at sana when she thinks sana isn't looking.

 

drinks are on the house. it turns out that sana owns the place, and it was also how nayeon had met her. alcohol has literally zero effect on their kind, but old habits die hard, anyway. 

 

sana and nayeon launch into a conversation with an intensity chaeyoung can't keep up with. momo nurses her beer, and chaeyoung starts drinking hers only because it was getting awkward. the alcohol tastes like water, but she picks up on the blood mixed in it, and it sends her senses into overdrive. her throat is suddenly very, very dry and she feels her fangs protruding. the growl that rips from her throat is completely involuntary, and it gets momo's attention.

 

"take it easy," the other girl smiles. "when i first tried it i couldn't stop, either." 

 

chaeyoung exhales slowly. nods, and takes another sip. feels the surge of energy replenishing her body, but not as much as nayeon's and jihyo's blood does. it's probably human blood, but this is also her first taste of it and it's... different. but still good. she feels more awake. 

 

"thank you," she nods. they fall back into silence, but this time it isn't as suffocating. momo seems to be lost in her own head, and chaeyoung thinks she's ninety nine percent right about her own conjecture because sana leans in occasionally. to whisper something in momo's ear whilst listening to nayeon's rapid fire gossip, and it's probably one of the few things that can bring momo back to earth. out of her own thoughts.

 

maybe it's the vibes momo is giving out, maybe it's the blood in her drink, but she gets a little lost in her own head too. watching nayeon talk is mesmerizing - the older girl has this thing about her. probably something stupid like magic. a spell she puts on everyone, because she's just that effortlessly charming. makes you feel like the center of the universe, and it's exhilarating until its not. sometimes when nayeon talks to her chaeyoung finds that she loses her train of thought more often than not in favour of savouring the moment. the high of being the center of nayeon's universe. which is second only to the high from drinking blood. and which will probably never happen, because the thing in her gut starts pricking again as a painful reminder. it's no wonder jihyo's in the picture.

 

"it gets better eventually," momo says. chaeyoung's eyes dart to her, widening. do vampires have mind reading powers now? what the heck. then feels the extra energy settle into shock. waits for momo to elaborate, but it never comes. the other girl only smiles softly, and raises her beer in a silent toast before downing the rest of it. it's like she wants to tell chaeyoung something more. but doesn't know how to do it. or just doesn't. it's like she's being shown the tip of an iceberg, and all that it's hiding is a whole mass of dense matter that would only bring about a sense of foreboding. 

 

but before she opens her mouth to ask, sana receives a text. stands up. grumbles something about problems with inventory, and pulls momo along. nayeon pouts, and chaeyoung gets her shit together in time to wave goodbye. they fall into a silence of some sort. until nayeon moves to sit across from chaeyoung, and chaeyoung swallows nervously.

 

she's trying. she really is. not to stare at the older girl's lips. they're blood red today, and on most days because nayeon is a loser who has ten sticks of the same shade - it's attention grabbing. it highlights the curve of her cupid's bow, and makes her lips look so full and smooth and soft. like how they felt against her neck that day, and made her a mess -

 

"chaeyoung?" nayeon frowns. "are you okay? you look a little flushed. is it the blood?" her eyebrows pinch together in the cutest frown that fills chaeyoung's mouth with cotton - dry, and speechless. it's been forever since the incident they pretended didn't happen, but there are nights she lies awake just to revisit it. to remember how good it felt. like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together effortlessly. has it committed to memory since then, because it's something she never wants to forget. ever. 

 

then the thing in her gut twists painfully, and chaeyoung knows she should stop dreaming of the impossible. so she nods and lifts her beer to nayeon's in a toast, with momo's words ringing in her head.

 

 

 

/ 

 

 

 

they visit a bloodhouse, only because nayeon says that chaeyoung's been way too stressed with school. which is partially true, and also her daily life for the past two years - but it doesn't mean it gets any easier. school is a bitch, and she'd been holed up in her room for two days straight rushing assignments (partly because she's been trying to avoid the two of them - she'd accidentally walked in on them making out one afternoon and immediately regretted it). schooling without worrying about making ends meet is a huge burden lifted off her shoulders, and it's why chaeyoung knows she has no excuse to not do well this time.

 

"what's that?" were the only words she could utter in response to nayeon's barging in, before she feels herself being lifted unceremoniously out of her chair. jihyo follows close behind, smiling a little crookedly, and chaeyoung narrows her eyes -

 

then they're standing in front of a house, in the middle of the forest. chaeyoung blinks. the whiplash she's come to anticipate isn't there this time.

 

"ta-da!" nayeon beams. her bunny teeth makes the wooden doors less intimidating. the house is huge. "are you ready?" she asks. loops her arm around hers, and jihyo does the same. chaeyoung is essentially, for the lack of a better word, trapped. she sighs. 

 

"am i supposed to be scared?" she looks at jihyo. who is of no help today - there is an underlying mischievousness hiding somewhere in those brown irises chaeyoung has grown to seek comfort in. it peeks out in the way jihyo smirks, which happens once in a blue moon, and chaeyoung can't help tensing up when jihyo leans in -

 

"you'll see," the older girl whispers. it's sultry. all sorts of teasing, and chaeyoung gulps. because jihyo's hand moves to circle her waist and there are fingers scraping just below the hem of her shirt and maybe chaeyoung just wants jihyo to keep her hand there. but nayeon starts walking forward with the same amount of excitement as a kid who's about to walk into a candy store, and chaeyoung braces herself.

 

it's loud. it's full of humans and vampires, and okay. maybe the name itself is self-explanatory. it turns out that a bloodhouse, well, is literally a house where vampires go to drink from humans. something like a club, but without alcohol. they're willing, of course - humans volunteer (and get paid) for their services because they like the high that comes with a vampire bite. there are people making out and drinking almost everywhere, and wow. 

 

nayeon pats her shoulder. releases her arm. stalks towards this guy with a sleeve tattoo sitting on the couch, and kisses him on the mouth. it's like a different kind of whiplash, because chaeyoung's pretty sure it hasn't even been thirty seconds since they entered. jihyo only laughs, and tells her it's normal. that this is every vampire's guilty pleasure because it's free for all. to let loose. no inhibitions. and it's only here that they get to be their true selves for a night.  

 

then nayeon's sinking her fangs into the guy's jugular, and chaeyoung feels her own mouth drying - it's so ridiculously _hot_ and she's reminded of that one incident again. then it's over, because nayeon is pushing the guy away and licking her lips, fangs out in full force, and chaeyoung thinks nayeon has never looked more powerful and beautiful, like this, with her eyes shining with something at the edge of insanity. 

 

"see anyone you like?" she's yelling into her ear. chaeyoung shakes her head. nayeon's hand is in hers again and she's moving again. this time towards the back of the house - it's more of a mansion, to be honest - and then she feels jihyo let go. gives her one last look - something chaeyoung thinks is along the lines of _don't be shy_ and her face morphs into something that sends a jolt of heat straight to her abdomen. jihyo doesn't break eye contact. it's a whole blackened cosmos sucking her in, and chaeyoung can only watch jihyo's fangs elongate ever so slowly. 

 

the older girl's face splits into a devilish grin. then she's wrapping her arms around a random blonde girl, and biting down into her throat. jihyo's swallowing furiously, adam's apple bobbing and chaeyoung takes in every detail - the pure bliss on the blonde's face, how her mouth falls open and how she lets out a delicious moan - 

 

"hi." there's another girl smiling up at her. she's pretty. her skin is ridiculously pale for a human, and chaeyoung hears her heartbeat speeding up at the close proximity. it makes her heady. because she has the upper hand, for once. she tilts her head back, and even in the shitty lighting chaeyoung spots the one vein sticking out like a sore thumb. feels it calling out to her. begging for her atttention. her fangs are out before she knows it, and she's moving on instinct alone. 

 

the girl tastes like chocolates. chaeyoung feels her writhing in pain and pleasure, and hears the rush of her blood - it's all too much. there's no memory sharing. it's so different from nayeon or jihyo's blood because human blood is way thinner, from a live source. but the high from drinking is still there, and she stops only because of her morals. and clan laws. licks the wounds close. when she looks back to where nayeon was standing, jihyo's there too. they're grinning at her, looking slightly crazed but so _alive_  chaeyoung thinks she finally understands.

 

that this, _this_ is what it means to be a vampire.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

somewhere between her seventh and eighth human, chaeyoung feels the change in atmosphere. 

 

it's darker than usual. hotter, too. she pops open another button on her shirt. one of them had kissed her after she'd drank from them, but it wasn't what she was looking for. it only made the burn at the back of her throat worse. thirsting for real blood. like nayeon's. or jihyo's. she's salivating, and her stomach squeezes - demanding to be fed.

 

there's an arm around her waist, one all too familiar. chaeyoung feels her body heat up in response. it's jihyo, in all her glory, giggling. her once brown eyes are now borderling black with how dilated her pupils have become, and her lips are stained red - chaeyoung briefly thinks about licking the blood off.

 

but jihyo is faster. smiles that very same crooked smile that makes chaeyoung's legs turn into jelly, and then she's all up in chaeyoung's face - there is no time to react, because jihyo is licking her way up her neck. it doesn't help that jihyo's fangs are still out and pricks her skin a little. the moan that leaves her lips is shaky and the shame that follows should make her blush by now, but it doesn't. probably numbed by the high that comes with drinking. 

 

she grips jihyo's waist. tries to find something to hold on to, because the adrenaline rushing through her veins makes her a hundred times more sensitive, and she feels _everything_ going straight to the coiling of her abdomen. shivers, because jihyo's licking at her pulse point right below her ear - 

 

"you're such a messy eater," she whispers. "there was blood all over your chin. would have been a waste if i didn't lick it clean." tucks a lock of stray hair behind her ear, and chaeyoung's entire body is this close to combusting. jihyo traces the shell of her ear, dipping along the small indents and over her helix piercing - 

 

then she's gone, and chaeyoung blinks. nayeon's here now, pressing jihyo up against the wall and kissing her with reckless abandon. typical nayeon. her unrivaled jealousy streak makes chaeyoung want to roll her eyes, because she knows she should have seen it coming. staking claim, over every single thing possible. it's kind of cute. like how nayeon makes sure to flip them around just to stare at her while biting down on jihyo's bottom lip, hand disappearing between the two. 

 

nayeon is enthralling. her dark hair only makes her look more sinister, staying true to their kind. chaeyoung doesn't look away. it's magnetic, nayeon's gaze. pulls her in. but there's also something else spilling out like a threat. a warning. the possessiveness over jihyo, with her hand wound tightly around the other girl's nape. then it softens into something chaeyoung can't place - something dangerously close to silvery, glittery want. great. her judgement's been severely impaired, and she's in no position to think about it any longer, because it would simply be pointless -

 

they break apart. nayeon is still looking at chaeyoung. jihyo's shirt is already three buttons missing, and they share a look - the only time nayeon backs down from the staring. it's only for a second or so, but it's like they understand (of course they understand). they know. then nayeon grabs jihyo's hand. walks over to chaeyoung, and grabs her hand too -

 

they're back at the penthouse. jihyo's keying in the password faster than they can blink, and the next thing chaeyoung registers is her back hitting the soft mattress of their bed. 

 

jihyo's shirt is gone. nayeon is leaving lipstick prints all over jihyo's bare chest, and chaeyoung can only stare. blatantly. they're beautiful, under the moonlight. living on the highest floor with a bird's eye view of the city meant that there would be no prying neighbours, so they'd never bothered with the blinds.

 

she groans. her fangs are out, again, because jihyo is mewling and digging her fingers into nayeon's shoulders, eyes shut in ecstasy chaeyoung wants to feel too. the sight of jihyo's heaving chest makes the burning at the back of her throat come back in full force and suddenly everything is too hot. she kicks off her slacks, trying to focus on soothing the ache. it's everywhere now. everything is on fire. she needs to drink. _now._  

 

her vision is tunnelled. there is only jihyo's neck, out on display. when nayeon pushes her back onto the couch, away from the bed, jihyo throws her head back and chaeyoung sees it. the blood in that one blue vein singing to her. pulling her in. her feet is on autopilot, and she gives in to the monster living inside her. just for today. the selfishness, that takes and takes and _takes_. she moves with a purpose.

 

chaeyoung wraps her hand around jihyo, from the side. noses her neck. breathes in the vanilla lingering on her skin. it's the perfume she always wears, to make her feel pretty. chaeyoung thinks she doesn't need it. bites down without warning, and the predator in her roars in victory at the way jihyo cries out. 

 

it's rich, and sweeter than usual. probably because they'd just fed. today's memory is of her and jihyo, but chaeyoung doesn't remember when - one of the days at school. just herself laughing at something stupid jihyo said. her eyes disappearing into happiness, nose crinkling and dimple showing. strange. but jihyo moans her name instead of nayeon's and chaeyoung's brought back to reality, because wow. the ache between her own legs is starting to get unbearable. 

 

she licks the wounds close. jihyo's arching into nayeon's mouth, completely bare now - nayeon is quick. chaeyoung isn't surprised, given the extensive history they have with each other. then isn't sure what to do until jihyo grabs one of her hands and places it over her own chest. oh. 

 

jihyo is soft. and very, very loud. chaeyoung learns that it doesn't take much to turn her into putty. a few well-timed flicks and caresses and jihyo's coming into nayeon's mouth. she looks so pretty spent like this, lips glistening with her own drool - chaeyoung finds herself leaning in before she can stop herself. 

 

she swallows a moan or two. then jihyo's kissing her back and it's nothing like she's ever imagined. it's slow, soft, and convinces chaeyoung that they aren't in the middle of sex. it's the kind of soft associated with marshmallows and post-coital bliss, and it makes chaeyoung's toes curl. there are fireworks behind her eyelids and she's melting because maybe, just maybe - nothing is impossible. dreams can be realised. and tangible.

 

then her back hits the bedroom wall and nayeon is snarling in her face, blood red eyes boring into hers and once again chaeyoung doesn't look away. reminds herself that she's as much of a vampire as nayeon is, albeit the years of experience the older girl has. but it's different, now. from the intense staring at the bloodhouse earlier. it's like nayeon's watching her every move. as though she's waiting for something. waiting for things to fall in place. 

 

the adrenaline pumping in chaeyoung's veins makes her body thrum with energy. she's restless. she ends up breaking the stare. doesn't want to end up cross-eyed. then gets distracted by the black dress nayeon still has on, because it hugs all her curves at the right places, and wow. how has she not noticed how _gorgeous_ nayeon looks tonight? 

 

her gaze returns to nayeon's lips. she'd retracted her fangs, giving chaeyoung a better view of her lips - back to their original colour, because all of her lipstick is already gone - left on various parts of jihyo's body. then is once again reminded of how badly she wants to feel those lips on her own, on her neck. it ignites a path straight to her stomach, and she squeezes her thighs together -

 

"do it," nayeon growls. it's the extinguisher to the fire burning beneath her skin, and chaeyoung snaps out of it. 

 

"do what?"

 

"kiss me." nayeon is bold. takes a step forward. "you've been thinking about it, haven't you? ever since that day." tilts her head curiously, eyes flashing even redder. another challenge. "tell me if i'm wrong." 

 

the apartment falls silent. dead silent. the only thing chaeyoung hears is her own pulse in her ears. because she's been stupidly caught in nayeon's web, powerless and vunerable. exposed. waiting to die a miserable death. of course nayeon knows. it's nayeon - chaeyoung wonders why she'd even bothered trying to hide it.

 

so she makes a decision. presses her lips to nayeon's, because if this is nayeon giving her an option, she's taking it. maybe it's an entrance, maybe it's an exit - it's a dead end either way, and chaeyoung knows she's definitely going to regret not kissing nayeon if she doesn't.

 

nayeon is a hurricane. her mouth opens immediately, tongue slipping into chaeyoung's easily. leaves behind a warpath. stirs up all the things chaeyoung tried her hardest to bury. destruction and creation. kisses fast and hard and her fangs scrape along the inside of chaeyoung's cheeks - she winces, but nayeon doesn't stop. angles her own head a little more to deepen the kiss, and there are fingers dipping under the waistband of her underwear -

 

she moans. feels nayeon's triumphant smirk at the corner of her mouth. then nayeon's pulling away only to yank her shirt off in a swift motion, buttons popping everywhere, and the cold air only makes chaeyoung wetter. this is what it feels like to be the center of nayeon's universe. 

 

there's a finger. and then two more, and nayeon fucks into her so quickly chaeyoung thinks her eyes slip shut of their own accord. the ball of heat building up at her abdomen snowballs into something that squeezes the air out of her lungs, and she can only buck her hips up into nayeon's long fingers, chasing something that seems to be right at her fingertips. just a little more - 

 

she rests her head on the curve of nayeon's neck, teetering on the edge. she wants more. needs more. it makes her scratch lines down nayeon's back through her dress, and chaeyoung has half a mind to rip it off because it's _unfair_. but nayeon never plays fair, and so when nayeon twists her fingers just enough to make the ball of heat explode, chaeyoung cries out - before biting down harshly.

 

nayeon hisses. nayeon tastes like tangerines today. then chaeyoung is so far gone she thinks she's hallucinating, because she sees herself in nayeon's memory today. just like in jihyo's earlier. but this one is slightly different. it's her, in their living room, with her eyebrows furrowed and her chewing on her bottom lip as she works on one of her assignments. the evening sun makes her dimple look deeper than it is, and the memory fizzles out -

 

it's her again, but five minutes ago - with her hair all tangled and messy and pressed into the bedroom wall, hips desperately stuttering and an open mouthed mess. it's... embarrassing. but also weird, because is this what she thinks it is? that she'd mattered enough to the two older girls to appear in their memories. intimate ones, even more so. then nayeon yanks her by the hair and she's forced to stare into the swirling silver orbs of the older girl's. it's tidal wave after tidal wave, and it's like chaeyoung's supposed to see something else other than how majestic and beautiful nayeon looks like this -

 

jihyo appears at her side. nuzzles into her neck, and chaeyoung thinks if she narrows her eyes she can still make out the puncture wounds she'd left earlier. right above her collarbone. feels an unusual sense of pride. ownership. then there's a calmness surrounding them all, settling into every fibre of her being. her fangs retract as she catches her breath, and she sees the turbulence in nayeon's eyes calm. it's jihyo, who's pushing out something different -

 

she closes her eyes. feels the two other girls do the same. they reach out at the same time, and it's strangely easy, intertwining with each other. seeking out each other. feels the effortless support blending together - chaeyoung swallows a small gasp. because it's pink. the very same cotton candy pink that she'd seen the other time. but thicker, and more viscous. as though it's more whole. more certain. stronger, and _real_. engulfs her in sweet warmth and belonging.

 

and love.

 

then momo's words echo in her head, and chaeyoung's eyes snap open. disbelieving. nayeon is smiling, small and soft. bashful, even. and jihyo, too - jihyo, who doesn't meet her eyes. jihyo who presses kiss after kiss along the underside of her jaw, slow and tender, and chaeyoung feels her heart threatening to burst at the seams. because it's a dream come true, to not be turned away. to be accepted into something she'd wanted to be a part of. to feel complete. 

 

she smiles. ignores the way her eyes are suddenly pricking. she feels so, so light. it's like she can finally be herself. no more pretending. tips jihyo's chin up to kiss the corner of her mouth in gratitude. and then pulls nayeon in by the waist and kisses her teeth, because nayeon won't stop grinning. it's happiness in the flesh.

 

and maybe, just maybe - this might be her overdue happiness in life.

 

 

 

/

 

 

 

nothing really changes. sunday mornings are still the same, because none of them get out of bed before noon. it's lazy, warm, and maybe the feeling of being spooned by her girlfriends (yes, _girlfriends_ ) is something she wants to bury herself in forever. but today it's just jihyo - nayeon's sprawled out on the other side of the bed like a starfish, passed out from exhaustion from the extreme bedroom activities last night. 

 

chaeyoung doesn't fall back asleep. it's a melancholic sunday morning - it's cold and rainy and makes her brood, a little more than usual. finals were over and she'd just been able to catch a break from school and everything, spending quality time with nayeon and jihyo. jihyo and nayeon. people she'd come to realise she'd started regarding as family, of sorts. the family she'd always dreamt of. 

 

then there's rustling from the right side of the bed, and then there are fingers tracing idly over her bare waist - jihyo presses a kiss to her ear. 

 

"stop brooding," she murmurs. pulls chaeyoung flush against her chest. "it's a beautiful morning."

 

chaeyoung cracks a smile. squeezes jihyo's hand. then brings it to her lips just once, before resuming her silent staring out of the window. the sky is grey, just like her mind. somehow it makes her reflective. makes her think about how drastic her life has changed, in the past months. thinks about that one night, where everything changed - now she knows for certainty that it's changed for the better.

 

"i wanted to die that day," she says, mindlessly. the past is a blackened stain that will never disappear, no matter how bright the future is. she remembers the worries, the fear, the acceptance that she was going - no more struggling. peace, that she'd never felt before - not until she turned, of course. 

 

"i know," jihyo kisses her cheek. then her jaw, and her neck. "i couldn't let you." they fall silent for a little longer, and when it became apparent that chaeyoung wasn't going to say anything else, jihyo sighs. loudly. 

 

"look at me," she tuts. waits for chaeyoung to turn, and moves closer so their noses barely touch. "i heard you calling for help that day, all the way from the hotel room i was in. it's crazy, even for vampire hearing - nayeon still doesn't believe me, to this day." she whispers into the space between them. "i don't know about you, but i believe in fate. a greater power up there that drew me to you. that i was meant to save you, because you deserved better. so much better." 

 

chaeyoung chuckles softly. to which jihyo frowns -

 

"i know," she grins. buries her head in jihyo's neck, and breathes in the comfort she loves. "thank you." she throws her arms around jihyo, left leg hooking over the older girl's waist, and giggles. "thank you so much. i mean it."

 

then there's a _really_ hard flick to her temple and chaeyoung's howling in pain, on her back with jihyo straddling and tickling her sides. it turns into a full-scale tickle war - chaeyoung is screaming and kicking and jihyo doesn't relent, but the smile on her own face is something her facial muscles have grown used to - it makes jihyo smile even wider, and chaeyoung's heart is so, so full. 

 

the past might be a blackened stain that will never disappear, but the present is a growing bubble that colours everything inside of it pink, and the future? no one knows. but chaeyoung's willing to bet that it's going to be a hell lot of sticky pastel sweetness, and happiness that encompasses everything. 

 

like the crinkle of jihyo's eyes when she laughs loud enough to wake nayeon up.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> @xylomylo on twitter yaaaaaazaz


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